Without A Community To Call My Own
I still consider myself left-wing, and not right-wing. But I also have some viewpoints that make me closer to right-wing, specifically my views of freedom of speech, and my reservations about being open about sex. The issue about gun owning is another issue I always had complex feelings about do to living with an abusive ex room mate that was quite clearly pro gun, notably right after the 2016 election.
I tried giving Breadtube a shot, mostly because it seemed at the time that there was a lot of cool people who were anarchists, and at the time I thought that anarchists wanted largely the same thing I did: a smaller government, with a greater focus on individual freedoms. But as a trans woman, I find myself honestly disturbed by the chaotic nature of how they treat issues about something that actually effects me as someone who is actually trans, and not a pretender.
Honestly, I thought the gender critical side of things would be better, as I honestly hoped there would be some left-wing gender critical people. But what seems apparent is that a lot of them, while they present themselves as caring about medical honesty, I feel like in many cases the ideology is way worse: especially when this one notable figure in that circle genuinely advocated for injecting Testosterone into Trans Women. It took me a minute to realize that that wasn’t just a typo.
Even in comics, despite disagreeing with them politically, I find myself having my in common with Comicsgate, but even though the more left-wing side of comics gate I have found generally unsatisfactory, as if anything they actually double down on being pro cancel culture. And I disagree with some journalists on The Intercept that I actually consider Cancel Culture to be a real issue: unlike Terrorism.
So I’m left in this weird state where I really don’t have a community to call my own; it was a similar state that was I was in that left me vulnerable to being enraptured by the Charms of the Billy Meier cult FIGU. Even now I have to remind myself to keep a certain distance from The Church Of Perpetual Life, as I can’t help but feel like there is way more to it, despite considering myself Transhumanist. As this church reminds me of Scientology in certain ways.
The good news is I am writing fiction again, even if I’ve given up on the idea of writing novels for publication, preferring instead to adapt them into graphic novels. But at least I’m slowly regaining some of my creativity back. But I’m such a different writer now than I was when I started back in 2007, and I’ve had more changes in my style CPTSD has slowly gotten worse over time. I’ve just gotten better at hiding it.
I feel like comics is the only publication where I feel like I can fully express myself, even if that is a form that may not have wide appeal.